Tools of the Trade
Within the medical field, naming a surgical instrument is often considered the epitome of success. Such a major contribution not only cements the lucky surgeon’s… Read More »Tools of the Trade
A Time of Giving
As 2016 draws to a close and many of us look forward to spending time with family and loved ones, one cannot escape the joyful… Read More »A Time of Giving
Gene Editing Under Fire
CRISPR/Cas9 gene editing is the hottest new technology being used by molecular biologists and geneticists around the world. The method, first developed in prokaryotes in… Read More »Gene Editing Under Fire
New Statin Guidelines Herald a New Era of Preventive Medications
In medicine, we would like to believe that treatment decisions are black and white, evidence is clear cut and uncertainty is a bygone impediment, squashed… Read More »New Statin Guidelines Herald a New Era of Preventive Medications
Making Our Voices Heard in a New America
On Nov. 9, 2016, our country awoke on the precipice of a new beginning. The recent presidential election was historic in many ways, but one… Read More »Making Our Voices Heard in a New America
Partnering Toward Discovery Seminar Series: HIV-Positive to HIV-Positive Transplants
Organ transplants are lifesaving operations for HIV-positive patients with kidney and liver failure — but only if they can reach the top of the waiting… Read More »Partnering Toward Discovery Seminar Series: HIV-Positive to HIV-Positive Transplants
An iPad Game Helps Children with Amblyopia Improve Their Vision
“She needs to see an eye doctor,” the pediatrician told the parents of a preschool child. I, a first-year medical student at the time, was… Read More »An iPad Game Helps Children with Amblyopia Improve Their Vision
Community Engagement Through Volunteering
Medicine means a lot of things to different people — patient care, research, education, lifelong learning — but to me, one of the most meaningful… Read More »Community Engagement Through Volunteering
Seeing Clearer but Not Farther: Disease Through the Eyes of a Young Medical Student
The day after my cardiology exam, my grandfather had a heart attack. Heart attack — what a terrifying phrase. The heart transcends normal anatomical description.… Read More »Seeing Clearer but Not Farther: Disease Through the Eyes of a Young Medical Student
Kid in a White Coat
I am no stranger to medical institutions. I’ve spent time in hospitals and clinics all throughout my life — shadowing physicians, working in the operating room as an administrative intern and now as a first-year medical student. However, while walking through the busy corridors of The Johns Hopkins Hospital, I feel distinctly different. Of course, this could be attributed to a variety of things, such as growing older and finally beginning a formal medical education, but the biggest difference for me comes from a short white coat with my name emblazoned on the left.
In our field, the white coat inevitably carries a strange and amazing sense of power and responsibility. Although we knew very little about medicine, since the day my peers and I received our white coats, we’ve been viewed differently in the hospital setting. While wearing the white coat, complete strangers confide in you, often sharing extremely personal stories, hopes and fears perhaps hidden even from immediate family. Suddenly, you are seen as a figure of authority and are, accordingly, faced with a sense of responsibility to provide the highest level of care for the people around you. The implications of this transformative power are incredible but also daunting.
Just over half a year ago, I was a senior in college and often joked with my friends about how we were “pretending” to be adults that were ready for the real world once graduation arrived. Now, I walk through The Johns Hopkins Hospital wearing an article of clothing that boldly proclaims something quite different — that I am an adult, ready to take care of the real world. The cognitive dissonance is glaring. I don’t feel any different on the inside than I did as the young college student only a few months earlier. How is it possible that I am suddenly responsible for taking care of others’ physical and emotional well-being when I am only just now learning how to take care of myself? I understand that as a new medical student, especially one coming directly from college without having taken any gap years, these sentiments are completely normal, but the nagging feeling that I am an imposter is still very real.
Regardless of these feelings, my medical training so far has been a privilege and incredibly rewarding. And now, several months in, I’m starting to learn that the solution to alleviating the dissonance lies in perspectives. It’s important to remember that medical training is a journey — one that will continue throughout my entire career — and that’s it’s OK to not always know exactly what I’m doing right now. Rather than letting imposter syndrome undermine my confidence, I can choose to see it as an opportunity to continuously challenge myself to learn and grow. Embracing my strengths and finding the courage to accept my weaknesses with confidence will, hopefully, help me work toward a satisfying and fulfilling career as a physician — even if some days, I still feel like just a kid in a white coat.